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  • Dionne Bowen

My Words to You

A Poem by Dionne Bowen

(I wrote this poem weeks after my first daughter Nia passed away, I wrote it to myself but

I hope it helps somebody. xxx)

Just because you can’t hold them

kiss them

sing to them

read them a bed-time story

doesn’t mean you can’t tell them you love them

Tell them you love them!

Just because you won’t see them grow

go to school

marry and have children of their own

doesn’t mean you can’t look back happily at what had been.

Look back and smile!

Just because visiting the grounds where she rests

has become your routine which replaces dance classes and soft play

Doesn’t mean you have stopped being a Mummy,

stopped being a Daddy

a grandparent

an aunty an uncle

a cousin,


or friend

You will always be those things

Forever Mummy and Daddy

Forever your baby she will be

Just because they have ascended doesn’tmean they have gone

Please remember that you are not alone

You carried them

So continue to carry them!

When you are strong enough talk about him or her

don’t let their memories become taboo

Don’t let them fade away!

Allow yourself to smile,

laugh even

Hold the joy that they gave you within;

like a tiny flame

That flicker of light

Please protect it from the darkness

Fan it Allow it to grow

Allow it to illuminate you from the inside out

Let the love and light of your little one shine in all of the darkness

Let it help you to find your way through the pain,

the grief, the anger


Cry when you need to… it’s ok to

Shout when you need to…

it’s ok to Cuss! Scream! Stamp! Dream! Talk and STOP!

When you need to…





It’s ok too and just breathe through REST

You’re battered, broken and bruised

And in all of this please continue to love

Please continue to live


and I know that you are in pieces

but you are still here

and HERE peace of mind is key

So try to bear in mind

that although things will never be the same

and will probably never be perfect again

you will see brighter days than these

and you will be okay

I pray that you will be okay.

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